Mind Warps and Heartbreak

Greetings fellow travelers,
I was sitting in the Union the other day, watching TV before class, when a 7Up commercial came on. Suddenly, the guy next to me said, "Hey, ya'll wanna know why it's called 7Up? It's because of the 7th element." One of his friends said, "Lithium?" "No stupid, that's number 3!" Another one said, "Yeah man, number 7 is platinum. What's platinum got to do with 7Up?!" A fourth member retorted, "Platinum is 78, what's wrong with you?!" This went on for about 5 minutes, then I googled the periodic table and said "number 7 is Nitrogen." There was a pause, and the group turned to the original speaker. "What's nitrogen got to do with soda?" "Man this dude lyin, it's not nitrogen! Now shut up the show's back on." Let me tell you, if you've never seen a group of guys with sagging pants and backwards hats arguing about the periodic table, you haven't experienced life.
Which would you like first, the mind warp or the heartbreak? Either one? Well, you're easy to please. I'll start with the heartbreak, because I feel like it's the more important topic, and a matter that should be addressed immediately. While I was on my road trip last week, we stopped at a hotel for the night, and went to Taco Bell for some sustenance(dibs). We got to the drive-thru, and I politely requested 3 chicken flat bread sandwiches. The voice in the talking box(because that's what I call it, you see, the talking box), politely responded that they no longer sold chicken flat bread sandwiches. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think the best way to get business is getting rid of the best thing that ever happened to your restaurant. Apparently, they call it a promotion. Well I call it stupid. But let me be clear, Taco Bell is still a fine establishment, very nice indeed...despite the fact that they've taken away one of the happy spots in my life, I'll still give them my business...though I'll admit, maybe not quite as often.
Now I told you that the heartbreak was more important than the mind warp. That's because the mind warp is about Twilight. Question: If Cedric Diggory was turned into a vampire after Voldemort killed him, does that mean that Remus Lupin turned into a vampire werewolf? I think that would just squash the whole Edward/Jacob debate right there, don't you? It would certainly solve all of Bella's problems.
Fun fact for you: I recently found out the origin of the superstition about breaking mirrors. Apparently, back in the olden days, mirrors were uber(thanks to Soup for the word) expensive, and if you broke one, it would take 7 years to save up the money to replace it. It really makes you appreciate those reflective surfaces, doesn't it?
Hope you all have a great week. I won't, because I have finals. Right now I'm blowing a virtual raspberry to all of you who don't.
Live long and blog,
Sam
P.S.
Fruits have ovaries. I'll elaborate next time.