Dougie In My Snuggie

G'day folks. Before we get started on the blog, I'd like you all to take a minute and try a word association exercise with me. When I say "girl car", what's the first car that pops in your head? If it's Beetle, then good job. If it's something else, then pretend it's Beetle, because that's the whole point of my "rantecdote"(my new word for "rant" and "anecdote"...also, dibs). In the past week, I have seen 6 girls driving VW Beetles. Normal, right? Guess how many guys I've seen driving VW Beetles this week...go on guess...did you guess yet, because if you haven't then you're just wasting my time. The answer would be 6. What kind of world do we live in where there are just as many guys as girls driving Beetles? And actually, when did guys start driving Beetles, period? Doesn't seem right to me. One of them even had a dog in the backseat that looked like it should have been named FiFi. I would like to officially inform that man that his man-card has been revoked for a minimum of 2 years. He will be up for a parole hearing in 2012.
Speaking of man-cards, that makes me thing of man-cave songs(I love a good segue...dibs). Bruno Mars has a song out that completely fits this category-"The Lazy Song"(a special thanks to Nick "BillyBob" Broadway for playing this song in his car.) Major points to the Martian for the lyrics "I'll be lounging on my couch, just chilling in my Snuggie, turn to MTV so I can teach me how to Dougie". Upon hearing these lyrics, every real man should have gone straight home and Dougied in their Snuggie...I know I did. I'm officially a major Bruno Mars fan. Great song. I want to be in the music video.
While Bruno's career seems to be going well, there's a certain teen pop sensation who might have reached that point in his career where we start seeing him in the tabloids for mischief instead of music...and he hasn't even reached puberty yet! Last week, Justin Bieber was accused of assaulting someone...while playing laser tag...and the victim was 12. I'm not sure who I should judge more-Justine for hitting a 12 year old, or the 12 year old for getting beat up by a Canadian R&B star who has a thirteen-year old girls voice and his own nail polish line...oh I'm sorry, did you not hear about the nail polish line yet? You have now. The link is posted below. The line will even have colors named after his songs (eg,OMB!(bright red) and One Less Lonely Girl(lavender)). I mean, what else did you expect from somebody who's career was started by accident? Wander how that record executive feels now.
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I can't believe it. JB has actually made me too weak to blog anymore. That's all I have for you today. Until next time, keep these wise words in mind... "dance crazes come and go, dance crazes in cleverly named blankets with sleeves last forever."
Sam

Black Bears Do Live In Mississippi...And So Do Gators

I'd like to start off this post (and all subsequent(dibs) posts) with an anecdote. I was waiting for the bus the other day, and a car driving down the street stopped to pick up a friend that was walking. Okay, that's nice. What I don't find nice is that instead of getting right in the car and continuing on, this guy decided he wanted to stop and have a conversation with the driver before getting in. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but couldn't that conversation have waited until he was in the car? It just seems that that would have been more logical and respectful to other drivers. So you've got these guys carrying on while traffic builds up behind them, horns blowing and what not, and they don't even acknowledge the traffic that they're holding up. And then the cars decide they're not going to wait anymore, so they pull around them. I don't know about you, but a Hummer 3 trying to manuever through the small streets of Ole Miss's campus always strikes me as humorous. So I'm standing there, with my headphones in and a slight grin on my face, not even looking at the car that's causing my amusement, and I hear someone yelling. I look to my right, and one of the ninnies (as my good friend Nick would call them) in the car is hanging out the window screaming at me. I couldn't hear him because of said earphones, so I just nodded and got on the bus. Maybe my grin offended him. Maybe he was trying to take attention away from the fact that his driver has no sense of respect for others. All I know is, my parents taught me courtesy. Did theirs?
Hope everyone had a great weekend, despite Ole Miss's loss to Bama. It's always hard to get over a defeat, but I find that the best cure is a little catfishing. And if that fishing should evolve in to gator tracking...well, so be it.
I should probably elaborate on the gator tracking. I was in Greenville, MS this weekend on a service retreat with Rebels For Christ and we stayed in cabins near an alligator-friendly lake. We were also told that aforementioned (dibs) lake was catfish-friendly. So like any good old country boys, we got a couple poles, some night-crawlers and a Klondike bar and headed out. 30 seconds after we got to the lake, we realized that no self-respecting catfish is going to be out at 1 in the morning. Shining our flashlights onto the water, we caught sight of a pair of red eyes. After spending ten minutes debating whether or not we were looking at a beaver, we realized that was stupid and mentally slapped ourselves. We then spent another 20 minutes throwing sticks into the water to pinpoint the gator's location. We realized that this too was stupid, mentally berated (dibs) ourselves, and took a klondike break. I suppose the gator got tired of our rudeness, because he suddenly set his eyes from stun to kill(1 point for Nick) and swam towards us. We began gathering weapons we could use against said gator...because as we all know, the one thing college kids can do is take on the creature that survived the dinosaurs, the meteor that killed the dinosaurs, and the Clinton Administration. Nick realized he wasn't prepared for this and requested that we go into the cabin, take gator 101, then come out for the battle. I was with him until the "come out for battle" part of the plan. To make a long story not quite so long, we came to our senses and agreed that the best way to view a gator is not from three feet away, but from an observation post separated by 2 fences. When we got to the post, the flashlight stopped working and our junior assistant associate to the campus minister did what any philosophy major in his position would have done...he threw it at the gators.
I can't think of a way to top that, so I'll end it here for today. Until next time, (insert deep, philosophical sign-off here),
Sam
P.S.
In my last post, I ignorantly stated that black bears do not live in Mississippi. In Greenville, I saw a poster that proved me wrong. My sincerest apologies go out to the black bear population of Mississippi. Good day

Cubs, Clinton and Carrell

So I was hoping that I'd have a new post up every week like clockwork, but with school and the mass amount of thoughts running through my brain everyday, picking one thing to blog about is going to be harder than I thought. Bare with me. Or maybe I should say "bear with me" after the votes were tallied and Ole Miss decided on the Rebel Black Bear as the new on field mascot. A totally logical choice, what with all the bears running through Oxford (in case you don't live in Oxford, this was sarcastic. There are no bears). I kind of feel bad about complaining, seeing as I missed the vote. But still, I find it hard to fathom(dibs)that so many people thought a bear was better than a landshark. Did nobody consider how many people would dress their babies up as sharks for the Grove? If that's not the cutest thing possible, I don't know what is. Granted, kids dressed up as bear cubs will still be moderately adorable. I'm still dressing up as a shark for Auburn so at least people have that much to look forward to.
Staying somewhat on the subject of Ole Miss, the esteemed 42ND president Bill Clinton was on campus today, showing his support for Travis Childers. I'll admit, I'm not a big Clinton fan(I'm not a small one either), but I still went by because when a president comes to your campus, you hear what he has to say. He's quite the charismatic speaker(as my dad would say), and he almost had me agreeing with him on everything...then I remembered he's a Democrat, so I kept walking. Seriously though, I did find myself agreeing with some things, and it just goes to show that you shouldn't let a man's political affiliations keep you from hearing his political views...they might mirror yours.
Now to switch gears completely. It's Thursday, which for any self-respecting American means it's Office night. As you know, we are in the midst of Steve Carrell's last season, which can only mean the end of the show all together. Who could possibly replace Michael Scott? Nobody that I've met. The show seems to have been going downhill lately anyway, since the marriage of Pam and Jim. They're relationship isn't quite as interesting now that it's a legal union, and Jim hasn't been nearly as funny or mischievous since they got married. I think the temporary co-manager position and the baby toned him down a bit. Understandable. Not acceptable, but understandable. I'm hoping Andy and Erin might pick up the slack, with Gabe taking up the roll of Roy. Wait, does that mean Gabe would attack Andy, who would be rescued by Kevin(because Dwight can't do it twice) and then get fired? Hmm, Erin+Andy times No Gabe=win/win situation.
That's all I can rack out of my brain for now. I'm hoping that as the posts continue, I'll start narrowing down to specific things I want to talk about instead of a potpourri(dibs) of useless information. As I said before, bear with me.
Signing off,
Sam

Rick On The List You Don't Want To Be On

So it's official. Rick Sanchez is now a free agent. Well not so much a free agent, more like unemployed. After his rant on XM radio last week, in which he accused comedian Jon Stewart of criticizing him because of his Latino heritage, and somewhat scoffed at the idea that Jews in America are an oppressed minority, CNN decided to let him go. While I don't want to say Rick had it coming-I enjoyed his show, particularly "Fotos del Dia" and the voice that exclaims "Oh, Dios Mio!"-I do believe he should have known better. You can't go on the radio and start downplaying the turmoil that a group of people once went through-that's bad taste. And specifically including your superiors in that group-that's just bad business. I seriously doubt that Stewart's ridicule of Sanchez was due to any disgruntlement that a Cuban-American was "almost at his level"; Stewart has never needed a reason to ridicule anybody, other than "this might make people laugh." Bottom line, Sanchez flew off the wall and took things to personally. When you're somebody in the limelight, especially a journalist going for a "hip" approach that I believe Sanchez often attempted, you just have to be ready for jokes. In my book, Rick has put himself with the likes of Michael Steele, who after being criticized for his spending of RNC funds pulled out the race card...although, Steele was specifically asked about race, and he's been known to have contradicting opinions, so that might be a topic for another blog. Anyway, I don't own a Twitter-because it's stupid and I don't respect it-, but I have checked out Rick's profile, and haven't seen anything from him regarding his comments on the radio. Oh well, better luck next time Ricky. I'm sure we'll see you down the road. Hopefully next time, you won't be on your own list.